A Harmless Little Spider
by sofia.estrella
Summary: She told him quite explicity that he was not allowed to come into the bathroom. But the discovery of a spider in the shower led her to change her mind rather quickly.


He lay on top of the twisted sheets, arms folded behind his head, propping it up, and listened intently to the sounds coming from the room over. She had been very clear earlier that morning when they woke up. She had told him in her "boss" voice (which was slightly disturbing to him considering the events of the previous night) that she was going to take a shower and he was going to stay put and he was not going to come into the bathroom under any circumstances.

He wondered if his job would be in jeopardy if he disobeyed her. He wondered if it was worth it.

When he heard the water running he could hardly stand it.

But after only a few moments another sound interrupted the peaceful quiet of her apartment.

"HODGINS!" she screamed, and he leapt of bed in an instant.

Reaching the door to the bathroom he paused. "I don't know, Cam, you told me I'm not supposed to come in 'under any circumstances'…" He grinned wickedly, leaning his head against the wooden door, his hand toying with the knob.

"Just get in here, Hodgins! NOW!"

He wondered if he could get her to beg for him, like she had last night… That is, if he had the restraint.

"Hodgins, I'm serious, there's a giant spider in here…"

He was half disappointed that her desperation wasn't for him—well it _was_, but for a different service than he had hoped—but admittedly a little excited. Spiders were kind of his thing.

So he opened the door. He couldn't suppress a smile at the sight of her, her black bangs tousled and sticking up in all directions, undressed but clutching a towel to her chest. Apparently, she hadn't realized that she stood in front of a mirror because she had neglected to cover her backside.

"Okay, so where's this spider?" he asked, taking a couple steps toward her.

"There." She pointed at the shower, backing away from it and from him.

Frowning, he turned to check it out. The spider was somewhat large to be found in a house, yes, but of course he'd seen bigger. He was the bug guy, after all. The thing had scrambled up the wall opposite from the shower head, fleeing the water that had disturbed it.

"Kill it," she demanded, her voice a little shaky.

"Hey, Cam, he's not hurting anyone." He took a closer look at it, prompting it to crawl onto his outstretched finger. "Or, she, rather."

She squirmed, watching him warily. "Hodgins," she warned. "Flush it down the toilet. Now."

He couldn't resist, and came toward her again, amused as she shrank back farther into the corner. "Relax, Cam, it's okay." He held out his finger. "A harmless little Wolf spider. One of the most common in the world."

"A harmless _Wolf_ spider?"

"Well, they bite defensively, but this species' venom is nothing to worry about."

"It has _venom_?"

"Yeah," he said, his tone bordering on condescending. "Most spiders do… Relatively few are dangerous to humans, however. Like this little buddy."

She held up her hands in surrender. "That's great, Hodgins, now just please take your little buddy and… leave."

"Okay, okay, Cam, I'll put it outside."

"No! Kill it or it'll… it'll come back for revenge."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "That is highly irrational, Camille. I think we both know invertebrates hardly possess the capacity for vengeance."

"Why are you talking like Brennan?" she asked, exasperated. "Please, Hodgins, I have to get ready for work."

"I don't understand why you think spiders are so scary," he said, as if it was a personal insult.

"I just do. I don't have to explain it to you."

"You do if you're asking me to take a life!"

"Hodgins. It's a spider."

He gasped, pulling the spider away from her, and shielding it with his free hand.

"This is getting ridiculous," she snapped. "Just get rid of it. I don't care how. Hell, take it home with you. Just get it out of this bathroom."

He frowned, whispered, "I'm sorry," to the brown spider perched on his finger and then plunged his whole arm into the stream of hot water in the shower. Its spindly legs crumpled into a ball as it was washed down the drain.

"Oh, finally," she sighed.

"You're cruel," he pouted.

"Well," she said, wrapping the towel tighter around herself, "you care more about spiders than people."

He smiled, and shook his head. "You know, spiders don't sleep together and then pretend like everything's cool at work."

"You're right, they don't." She dropped the towel suddenly, and he forgot that he was a little pissed at her. "Because the females eat the males before the next morning even comes." She stepped into the shower and whipped the curtain shut.

He didn't even attempt to hide his smile. "You've been listening to me, I guess."

"Yeah. I bet spiders don't do _that_ either."

* * *

**A/N: this kinda went into a different direction than I thought it was going to… So, what'd you think?** **I did as much spider research as I could handle (hate them…) but I figured my target audience is not composed of spider experts, so I took some liberty with a few things. Please leave a review! This is my first Bones fic (of many more to come, hopefully!) so let me know what you think :)**


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